I'm starting a blog.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a much wordier version of this:

GOALS:

-To avoid shame and embarrassment as much as possible. (To be "authentic," though authenticity is one of those words that's hard to use authentically)

-To try to share bigger thoughts with a smaller audience

-To have another place to document my life, because that is so much of what my life means to me

-To have a place where I can share things I have written 

-To try, relentlessly, to escape the scrolling machine that is designed to keep us in its capture

Following the death of a friend, I told myself I would stop messing around and stop wasting time and get to all the things I wanted to get to and be brave. The things you tell yourself to reorient yourself within the world, or maybe as a workaround for grief, or maybe when that person lived so intentionally and beautifully and you wanted to live in their honor.

I wanted to spend less time on social media. My sister had been seeing a guy a little while ago, described by those who knew him as a "Luddite." I know now that this is a chronically misused term, that the Luddites were motivated by organizing the working class rather than just the 19th century version of the people still holding out on getting smartphones. (Trust me, I listened to a podcast about it, so I am a certified expert). But this guy was just anti-technology; an anti-technology software engineer. Anyway, he had a blog that I read more of than I care to admit, and that is where this idea came from. One of my last remaining excuses for being on Instagram was that I liked having a place where I could document my life, for me to look back on later, or to show my friends what I was up to. I wanted to find another way of achieving that desire that wasn't so addictive.

My enthusiasm was replaced by procrastination, either out of inertia, or because the very act of starting a blog feels inherently cringe-worthy. I mean, I just spent an entire post defending myself against no one other than myself. But I'm all about doing the things I say I'll do. 

So there you have it.

I'm starting a blog. 






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